She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
