And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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