Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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