the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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