i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The Olympian is in my bed
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