my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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