Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
