She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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