what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize