Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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