he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
