We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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