I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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