I molested 6 butterflies tonight
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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