Buhtt sex?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
