btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
