Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
