Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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