you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Nobody cheats on THIS.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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