..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
