Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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