Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
