Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
there is glitter all over my balls
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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