just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You don't make any sense
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