i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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