thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
