You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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