she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
only if we run a train.
done.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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