I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
How's work?
Spinning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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