Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
