There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
