its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
