I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
