he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
