I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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