I want to walk on stilts...naked
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need to stop coming to work sober
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize