Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
barbara walters just said penis...
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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