Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
