Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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