Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize