How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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