What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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