I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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