MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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