sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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