im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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