I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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