i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
