Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
