I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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