ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  No one shows this much boob at breakfast

  Fav 7 4023 902

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Well said.

  Fav 19 3801 948

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.

  Fav 14 3592 1697

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.

  Fav 33 7771 1325

  share tweet
  

• (253): View more from Washington

  So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas

  Fav 65 2345 16527

  share tweet
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.

  Fav 13 7464 1168

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (905): View more from Ontario

  Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.

  Fav 45 9489 3068

  share tweet
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.

  Fav 7 2702 1023

  share tweet
  

• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.

  Fav 2 2092 862

  share tweet
  

• (707): View more from California

  We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.

  Fav 5 1234 1032

  share tweet
  

• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015

  Fav 5 375 392

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (613): View more from Ontario

  Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.

  Fav 1 504 274

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.

  Fav 0 58 8

  share tweet
  

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.

  Fav 0 38 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.

  Fav 0 6 41

  share tweet
  

Randomize