I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
