im drinking this country out of the recession.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
This house was built for laser tag.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
