its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
