The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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