Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
