Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
