I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm just crazy horny about you
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am one with the molecules
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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